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POSTING OMG OMG SHES ACTUALLY POSTING

Feb. 27th, 2006 | 11:10 pm
mood: sickslighty sick
music: emo music
posted by: evie_lynn in daintymurderess

That's right folks, the one and only.

... Don't know what to say. Stayed home sick today, what sadness. Anyway, Alex (boy)'s birthday is on Wensday... What to get him. And what to get Alwad, also. And Liz. Who've I got a card for, but still needs a present! And Gosh! Sarah's birthday is coming up too!
Damn. I'm screwed...

Cue sickly-stomache pains.

I'm out.

Loves (despite the sickingly short post),
Ellie

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daintymurderess

(no subject)

Feb. 5th, 2006 | 02:35 pm
posted by: largerabbit in daintymurderess

someone must post. someone thats not me

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no title for you!

Nov. 23rd, 2005 | 06:25 pm
mood: coldcold
music: Still Laughing-Lostprophets
posted by: evie_lynn in daintymurderess

I wonder if anyone so much as looks here anymore. Hasn't been posted on in months. Alex did have a post, but she went and deleted it. It's really cold.. Mom doesn't know that I didn't go to school today. I'm not about to tell her either.. somehow I don't think she'll like me saying, "I was tiiiired." Otherwise, I've been doing nothing today. Except watching tv and thinking.. I had some pretty awful dreams too. In one, my grandpa tried to kill me. In another, I had been sent back into time to the day before school let out, but I didn't know exactly what day it was. So I tried to kiss Cameron, only for him to push me away and tell me that we wern't going out anymore. Also, in one dream, I skipped school and went to Atherton to follow Mack around. Then I got kicked out and I went outside and foudn Richie and Nick S. Nick pushed me down and Richie picked me up, and then Izzy appeared and me and her were going to tarc down to J-Town. Woke up and had my last dream, where people broke into the car with me, mom, and Randy inside, but we drove away before they had a chance and they followed us home and tried to kill us.
After that dream, I decided I didn't like sleep too much and got up.

I can see it in your eyes,
Ellie

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(no subject)

Aug. 29th, 2005 | 06:21 pm
posted by: lolabunny10061 in daintymurderess

mrowr?

anyone read this anymore?

i ono. well. school is interesting. i was popular today. and i had detention. i like the detention lady. she's kidna nice. she gave me another tarc ticket today.

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Guilty Consience and other such ramblings

Aug. 21st, 2005 | 02:29 pm
mood: confusedconfused
music: Where is your boy tonight- Fall Out Boy
posted by: evie_lynn in daintymurderess

I gah.
Trying to organize my thoughts here.
I thought so much last night.
About my poem... about gah. About lies and friends and more than that. Such confusion in my mind... I try to not think anymore. Just go to school, laugh when I'm supposed to, turn in my work, and try to remember not to leave my book under my desk.
Maybe this will be my year.
Hmm.

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daintymurderess

(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2005 | 10:17 pm
mood: tiredtired
music: The Metro -Berlin
posted by: largerabbit in daintymurderess

so i guess im on this community journal now...hope thats ok

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Just sway

Aug. 8th, 2005 | 09:50 am
mood: confusedconfused
music: Sway- Lostprophets
posted by: evie_lynn in daintymurderess

I don't know why you think it's such this big deal, what I'm keeping from you. It's not even that much. I'm just tired of being known, of everyone knowing what's going on with me. Questioning me, prodding and prying.
I wanted to be left alone. So I kept a few things to myself.
You want to know something?
Here's how I felt some of the time at the party.
I felt like Cameron was staring at me the entire time. Every time I looked in his direction, I saw his eyes on me. It scared the living shit out of me, it made me remember when he used to do that in class. I don't know. And then when we were all in the shed, and I felt someone's arms around my waist, I was so scared, because I thought it was him. But it wasn't. I felt like hiding the whole time, so he couldn't find me and just leave me alone.
When Alyssa went off on her own, I never felt so bad. I felt like I should be with her, because I guess I was apart of this problem too. And I wanted to be there for her, to sit with her, to be with her. But I just couldn't go to her. I don't know why, but I couldn't. I guess I didn't like the talk that much either. I didn't want anyone to think anything, because since everyone's got apeice of thew story missing they think they are missing half the puzzle pieces when all they arn't getting is like a side of the border.
It's not all that much that you all are not getting. Can't I just keep this one little thing to myself? Can you all stop guilting me about it? Everyone has secrets. I want to keep this inside. I don't want it to be analyzed or talked about or be tainted by common knowladge.
I tried to act normal at the party. Did I come off as normal? Because I had never felt so weird in my life. Between all the stares and whispers I felt like every one was watching me.
Because everyone knows. Everyone knows. Everyone knows.
Last night, I cried myself to sleep.
I had never felt so bad in weeks.

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dear kd

Aug. 8th, 2005 | 01:39 am
posted by: lolabunny10061 in daintymurderess

i'm sorry for being a bitch. i don't know what to say. i feel like crying all the time. and i don't know. i don't even know why i'm writing this. i'm just afraid you will forget about me since u and alyssa are getting into this whole buddy buddy thing. and leaving all of su in the dark.


i don't knwo what i'm sorry for. but i am.

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If I could find you now

Aug. 3rd, 2005 | 08:19 pm
mood: soresore
music: Opium- Marcy Playground
posted by: evie_lynn in daintymurderess

Well. No one's typed on here for a while, so I'm taking my turn. I am hurting... all over. My abs, my legs, my arms, neck, back... I feel stiff, like an old woman.
I complain alot, don't I? I suppose I should just get over it. Anyway, today wasn't as bad as yesterday. And only 2 more days left, and than it's OVER! Mom's taking us out to dinner on Friday night, because she gets her paycheck. I feel like she's never home anymore, but I'm not here for most of the day anymore either. I feel so tired right now... i just want to sleep, but when ever I try, I can't seem to. Only 13 more days till school starts. It makes me sad. Alyssa's party is on Sunday... I dunno what time it is though. Friday night the band is having a "socail get together", but i don't have to go unless I want to. Time is slipping away. Dammit.
Forrest has got ahold of my old toothbrush, and is using it as a chew toy. Satan dog. Gah. I'm all sunburnt. I come home everyday sunburnt, and by the time I'm awake and at band camp the next day, my sunburn is gone but I'm in the sun again. I don't know how I'm going to survive high school with out Alex and Liz and Alyssa and Izzy and just... everyone. We better get that damn reunion. I miss all my highland people. I miss Mr. Luker. I miss Mr. Farris. I miss middle school already, and High School hasn't even really started. It feels like it has, though, because everyone is doing something for sports or band and knows new people and everything. Gosh, this is depressing. It hurts my arms to type, but I guess I'll get over that. Hurts my hands too. You know what I've noticed recently? I'm eating again. I eat three, sometimes even four meals a day. I weighed myself the other day, and I weighed 110. And all the scratches on my arms are fading, because I take so many showers and put medicine on them , hoping the other band members won't notice them. It's so weird. In band, it doesn't matter how much you weigh, what you look like. It matters how long you can go without push ups, how fast your fingers can move. It's like a different world. People pay attention to your feet and hands here, your eyes, but not your hair or your ass or anything. No one dresses up all that much, the bast we get is jeans and a tank top, old jeans rolled up too. Girls put no more effort other than a bit of water proof mascara, and those that do are the ones everyone loathe in the band. Because those are the perfect ones to them. I wish they knew, they really knew what perfect was. Maybe then they would see how different the world is, why everyone is so picky about image and looks and not so much about why you want to make music, make something beautiful. Because it's a different beautiul out there, and that's why I love it in the hallways with the deep notes from the brass section seeping into the hallway from under the chorus room door, and everyone marching in time, moving together, sweat running together. If one person is wrong, everyone is wrong. It's so different.
I know I'm rambling.
There it goes,
Ellie

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(no subject)

Aug. 1st, 2005 | 04:11 pm
posted by: lolabunny10061 in daintymurderess

i don't care to write on livejournal right now. read my blog. it explains about ginger.

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